Why haven't we figured out how to support people suffering with dementia & alzheimer's?
In this day and age we can accomplish almost anything with our smart phone…. yet there is nothing for alzheimer's patients and their loved ones faced with this disease.
As a woman who runs a national nonprofit that exists to serve people in crisis - I am frustrated.
As a daughter who's mom is being taken away from her by dementia - I am frustrated.
As a daughter of a father who is giving every last ounce of himself to help her - I am frustrated.
Everywhere I go I hear stories of people suffering, just like me, with a disease that is taking their parents away. They all say the same thing. They all feel helpless. They all are isolated. How is that possible? How are we failing so miserably as a country… again!!!
Why in this country can we not figure out a way to help patients and their families through this disease. In this day and age, with the sophistication we have in services and care… why are so many people alone?
More than 5 million Americans are living with alzheimer's and that number is predicted to increase to 16 million in 2050. It is a disease that kills more Americans than breast cancer and prostate cancer COMBINED...for goodness sakes!!! (http://www.alz.org/facts/)
So why in the heck is there NOTHING for the people suffering through it?
My father complained to be that he had tried. He had gone on the national alzheimer websites and he wasn’t able to find anything of value to help him. I didn’t believe him, so went to prove him wrong. After 3 hours of web searching I was defeated, more isolated and beyond frustrated. How could such a BIG problem NOT be addressed?
Yes there is research being done (which is critical).
Yes there are searchable databases on these national websites - but when the top memory care facility on their list happens to be a place I have visited that was so depressing, dirty and horrible, the lists lose their value.
It is like we are stuck in the past when “nursing homes” were where you had to go if you had no money and everything else had failed. Why is this the model now? Why is this country not full of exceptional memory care facilities - as it is cancer centers? Why are there not so many options of great places to choose that the choice is the burden?
I think my greatest frustration is that my family is in a position (thankfully) that we can actually afford good care for my mom - we just can't find it. Really we can't find it... and we are trying!
So national alzheimer's nonprofits... you should be ashamed. You are spending millions of dollars and are not serving anyone.
And I have a box to stand on... I have some skin in this nonprofit game... and you should be ashamed.
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Monday, August 14, 2017
We have some serious work to do in this country around getting older
I think as a country we have some serious work to do around getting older.
I personally get frustrated when healthy adults complain about their birthdays. Even more frustrating is when adults get depressed around turning a year older. I believe that the goal in life is to get older. Because when you are not getting older… you are dead. And no one is striving for that. But that is a different topic all together.
When you look at the current aging population it is clear that we are in a bit of trouble as a country.
As the baby boomers age and begin looking for the support and care they have had their entire lives, they are shocked and horrified to find it not there and the last place they are willing to go is a “facility”. But what if we were able to change the entire conversation and the entire industry who serves them - we would have having a very different dialog.
Imagine if the goal was to be able to have enough money saved that by the time you were old you were able to move into a wonderful, beautiful place where people took care of you.
You didn’t move in to a place when there were no options left, you moved is as your first option… because you could and what a wonderful way to live. To be taken care of, cooked for, not have to mow your lawn, or clean the gutters. But rather to be be with friends, exercise and focus on things that make you happy.
Imagine a world where close long time friends planned their aging moves together into wonderful places where they could continue to see each other every day and just enjoy life together.
Instead this gigantic baby boomer generation fears the idea of "a place" as if it is worse then death itself. Why?
I think part of the reason is that the places in the past have been HORRIBLE!! And many of them still are. As a country we should be ashamed that we ever allowed one horrible nursing home to exist - forget the fact that we let them spread like ants across the country. It is like we pretended they were not there. We told ourselves that “we will never go there” and that it didn’t have to do with us.
They should never have developed into that type of experience. No one should be left to die. All people should be loved and cared for their entire life, from the first breath to the last.
It is time to say NO MORE to the nursing home of the past. And a fancy name change to “senior center” doesn't cut it. No one should be in a place that is not clean. No one should be in a place that isn't full of love and life. No one should be in a decrepit building where no one else wants to go.
It is up to us now, to make this change once and for all and move nursing homes into the past where all terrible things go. We must demand better service, care and love for all seniors.
It is our generations responsibility to not leave our senior family member alone EVER - but rather visit them often and continue to have them as the important part of our lives as they always were.
It is time to correct this mistake of the past and change how we talk about, interact with and live with seniors. Because if you are lucky, you also will be old one day and I bet the last thing you want is to die alone in a smelly, dirty room.
I personally get frustrated when healthy adults complain about their birthdays. Even more frustrating is when adults get depressed around turning a year older. I believe that the goal in life is to get older. Because when you are not getting older… you are dead. And no one is striving for that. But that is a different topic all together.
When you look at the current aging population it is clear that we are in a bit of trouble as a country.
As the baby boomers age and begin looking for the support and care they have had their entire lives, they are shocked and horrified to find it not there and the last place they are willing to go is a “facility”. But what if we were able to change the entire conversation and the entire industry who serves them - we would have having a very different dialog.
Imagine if the goal was to be able to have enough money saved that by the time you were old you were able to move into a wonderful, beautiful place where people took care of you.
You didn’t move in to a place when there were no options left, you moved is as your first option… because you could and what a wonderful way to live. To be taken care of, cooked for, not have to mow your lawn, or clean the gutters. But rather to be be with friends, exercise and focus on things that make you happy.
Imagine a world where close long time friends planned their aging moves together into wonderful places where they could continue to see each other every day and just enjoy life together.
Instead this gigantic baby boomer generation fears the idea of "a place" as if it is worse then death itself. Why?
I think part of the reason is that the places in the past have been HORRIBLE!! And many of them still are. As a country we should be ashamed that we ever allowed one horrible nursing home to exist - forget the fact that we let them spread like ants across the country. It is like we pretended they were not there. We told ourselves that “we will never go there” and that it didn’t have to do with us.
They should never have developed into that type of experience. No one should be left to die. All people should be loved and cared for their entire life, from the first breath to the last.
It is time to say NO MORE to the nursing home of the past. And a fancy name change to “senior center” doesn't cut it. No one should be in a place that is not clean. No one should be in a place that isn't full of love and life. No one should be in a decrepit building where no one else wants to go.
It is up to us now, to make this change once and for all and move nursing homes into the past where all terrible things go. We must demand better service, care and love for all seniors.
It is our generations responsibility to not leave our senior family member alone EVER - but rather visit them often and continue to have them as the important part of our lives as they always were.
It is time to correct this mistake of the past and change how we talk about, interact with and live with seniors. Because if you are lucky, you also will be old one day and I bet the last thing you want is to die alone in a smelly, dirty room.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
What the heck is up with Spring?
I know I am not adding anything new to the discussion by complaining about winter... but enough already!
For someone, like me, who grew up in California... March was a magical month. The roses bloom, the air is warm and you began thinking about the beach. But NOT HERE in New York City.... forget it. It is 24 degrees outside today BEFORE wind chill...
That is just wrong.
What is it about seasons and our connection to them? We cant wait for summer to come, and then after months of cooking in inhumane humidity, we begin to day dream about falling leaves and fall jackets. In no time we are mentioning to people that "I wish it would snow" and we cross our fingers we have a white Christmas. And then March comes and every person on the eastern seaboard would DO ANYTHING for a daffodil to pop up in their yard!
Funny how that works.
Because I was created in a place that had no seasons - I know that you need cold to really appreciate the warm (unless you are in San Diego where it is 70 degrees EVERY day of the year).
So to all of you East Coasters out there that want to scream at the TV weather dude every morning this month when he can't seem to say the word "fifty degrees" to save his life ... I feel ya...
For someone, like me, who grew up in California... March was a magical month. The roses bloom, the air is warm and you began thinking about the beach. But NOT HERE in New York City.... forget it. It is 24 degrees outside today BEFORE wind chill...
That is just wrong.
What is it about seasons and our connection to them? We cant wait for summer to come, and then after months of cooking in inhumane humidity, we begin to day dream about falling leaves and fall jackets. In no time we are mentioning to people that "I wish it would snow" and we cross our fingers we have a white Christmas. And then March comes and every person on the eastern seaboard would DO ANYTHING for a daffodil to pop up in their yard!
Funny how that works.
Because I was created in a place that had no seasons - I know that you need cold to really appreciate the warm (unless you are in San Diego where it is 70 degrees EVERY day of the year).
So to all of you East Coasters out there that want to scream at the TV weather dude every morning this month when he can't seem to say the word "fifty degrees" to save his life ... I feel ya...
Monday, March 23, 2015
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Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Christmas 2012
Come on, Christmas Day... and you can't turn the air on?
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| Wonder what they looked like when they were full of air? |
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